


Fool For You

by RedCoral



Series: Only Fools [2]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Adoption (mentioned), Alternate Universe - Canon, Anne is alive, Fluff, Happy Ending, Happy!Lukas, Happy!Philip, Implied/Referenced Sexual Content, Innuendo, M/M, No Smut, Surrogacy (mentioned), episode 10 didn't happen, married!Philkas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:19:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9069277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCoral/pseuds/RedCoral
Summary: Philip laughed as he bounced on their bed, his tie already at the other side of the room having joined his jacket, waiting for Lukas to climb in after him. “Did we seriously just snuck out of our own wedding party?”Lukas laughed too, struggling to take his damn shirt off. “It’s not our fault they wouldn’t leave! I danced for a lifetime. Now I want you all to myself.”Philip checked his husband out from head to toe, as his hands moved to the belt. Even though he knew exactly what Lukas looked like with no clothes on, it still got him nervous and excited just like the first time. He couldn’t help but tease Lukas a bit, raising an eyebrow at him followed by the words, “Only for now?”“Forever, to be honest,” Lukas answered readily with no hesitation.“Forever sounds good.”--Or the party after the wedding, where apologies are offered, innuendos are made and Philkas have their happily ever after with some grand decision making in the end.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maryellen590](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryellen590/gifts).



> Hello, everyone!
> 
> So, this is kind of a sequel to This Promise Of Us, the party after the wedding but this is actually real and not a dream sequence. In case you haven't noticed, I'm turning this into a series that will be filled with moments and milestones of Philip and Lukas' relationship from the beginning till as long as they are together in this universe. So, if there's anything you want to see, just say the word and I'll try to make it happen.
> 
> I've gifted this one to [maryellen590](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maryellen590) because they asked for it. I hope you don't mind it's a bit more suggestive than what I usually write, but it just came out. I've rated this mature just to be on the safe side, though. maryellen590 I hope you like this!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Eyewitness or its characters. The song Only Fools by Troye Sivan is not mine. Neither is Body Say by Demi Lovato.
> 
> Enjoy!

The real wedding ceremony went just like Philip had imagined. Well, not exactly. Lukas’ vows were kind of different than what Philip had dreamed of, but the point was the same. He still didn’t make any promises. He talked about the truth of his feelings and all Philip got out of it was awe, love and adoration for the boy he had fallen in love with and the man he had grown up to be, speaking openly about his feelings for Philip in front of 70 people when at the point everything between them had begun even touching Philip had been a battle for Lukas.

A turkey was still the ring bearer but it wore a charcoal grey suit jacket with a lime green tie, the middle of what the grooms wore, as Philip went with a classic black three piece suit with a grey tie and Lukas wore a gray suit with a black tie. And of course Charlie spent more time chasing around the turkey than actually throwing flower petals around. She was probably still doing that.

They were at the barn now on the Waldenbeck’s property, what Lukas kept reminding him that it was now Philip’s property as well, where they had set up a small reception. It was more like a party actually with tons of food and free drinks. There were lights twinkling on the ceiling, some wrapped around the tree branches, grey and white paper lanterns hanging from several places. There were round tables for eight placed around the barn, all of them decorated with white linens, grey napkins on the plates matching with the wooden chairs’ grey cushions. The plates were made of porcelain and they had grey and black lines swirled around each other, connected in a way one couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. Right in the middle of the barn there was a make-shift dance-floor in the line of vision of the DJ. Along every wall, there were long tables that held the food and drinks that catering people were there to help the guests with, even though most of them took whatever they wanted themselves. In the corner was the two-story cake that was already half eaten after the wedded couple did the honors of smearing each other’s lips with cake. It was really delicious in their defense.

Now it was time for the couple’s first dance and Philip dreaded what was about to come from the speakers. There was one thing Lukas had asked to do for this wedding; choose the song for their first dance. Knowing fully well the sometimes terrible music choices of Lukas, Philip reluctantly agreed. He had tried in every way possible – and he meant every single way, even bribery with sexy times, yes – but Lukas wouldn’t say what song he chose. He said it was a surprise. He said Philip would love it. And as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the dance floor waiting for Lukas to say whatever he wanted to say to the DJ and heard the song coming from the speakers, he realized Lukas was right. Philip did love it. It took him back in a time when they had been wrapped around each other in Helen’s barn, feeling Lukas’ arms around him keeping him safe in a way no one had cared to do so before. That didn’t mean though he couldn’t tease Lukas a little bit. Hey, sometimes it was his favorite pastime.

As he watched with a small smile on his face Lukas walking towards him, grinning madly, he couldn’t stop himself from saying with a deadpan look, “Really, Lukas?”

Lukas could see right through it though, and he said as he put his arms around Philip’s waist, “It was the first song in the first playlist you made for us. I think that makes it our song,” he concluded righteously.

Philip sighed at him, “I don’t know why I love you sometimes,” shaking his head with a small smile as he relented and put his arms around Lukas’ neck.

Lukas took on a playful grin then, as he brought Philip as close as possible and asked only for him to hear, “Oh, you don’t know, huh?”

Philip leaned back a bit, shaking his head, trying not to smile too much as he said, “Nope. No clue.” He heard Troye Sivan singing in the background about how his hopes are high, but they need to be small, how he tries to resist but he still wants everything, and Philip couldn’t help but think that for all his life he mostly dreamed small. There were rare moments he let his mind slip into dreams that would never become a reality, dreams of a happy place where darkness just stopped following him, a place he went and things didn’t get screwed up again. But here he was, in the arms of the man he wanted to spend his life with, smiling in a way he didn’t think it was possible for his face to smile, for his heart to feel the warmth and happiness that had been an unreachable dream for a long time.

Lukas leaned in closer, his lips millimeters away from his own as he smirked and said, “I’ll give you a clue,” before he dived in for a kiss that took his breath away. This wasn’t just a clue of why he loved him. This was all the reasons tangled with that one kiss, the gentleness, the confidence, the strength in which Lukas tried to show everything he couldn’t say but felt inside, all the emotions he couldn’t name, couldn’t even recognize but they still left him feeling like he was in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. It was all that threatened to consume him every time he thought about Lukas, about their relationship, about their past, present and future. He knew it was impossible for just one kiss to feel like that, but it did, and Philip never wanted it to stop.

When Lukas leaned back, panting and looking at Philip as if he was a miracle to behold, his look serious, he asked, “What about now?”

Philip wanted to kiss him again. He wanted his breath taken away, he didn’t want to give up, he still wanted it all. So, he hummed as if he was considering the answer, pretending he was unfazed by everything Lukas related, even though he knew his struggle for breath and his unfocused eyes proved otherwise, and said, “I don’t think I know yet.”

Lukas chuckled under his breath, his eyes wrinkling at the corners as he smiled and realized what Philip was really asking for here. “Is that so?” he asked playfully.

Philip should have taken into consideration the glint in his eyes before he said, “Huh uh. Maybe you should try again.”

“Maybe I should.” And damn did he try again. He gave it his all, reminding Philip of everything he meant to him, revealing everything he felt. With this kiss Lukas was standing open and raw in front of him; everything he had, everything he was, was visible only to Philip’s eyes. Philip had a fleeting thought that maybe they were making their guests uncomfortable, kissing in the middle of the dance floor like that, not really dancing like they were supposed to, but simply swaying and getting lost in each other. 

When they separated, they couldn’t look away. This was their moment and even though the song was almost at its end, Lukas and Philip were living the beginning, where they get to have it all; the prince in shining armor, the love, safety, company and happiness. All of these had been threatened at times by the circumstances, but somehow, Philip and Lukas found their way back to each other, rebuilt everything that was almost torn apart by simply staying together, by fighting for each other. So, yes, some might call them fools for falling for each other, for being so different, their lives barely collide. But they want it all. And they got it. Nobody could ever take that away from them.

As another song started to play, the beat still slow, good enough for slow dancing, Philip felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned to see his mother with the biggest smile on her face as she took his hand and said, “May I?” Philip didn’t deny her that, responding with a smile and a “Sure.” He heard Helen behind him say, “Come on, Lukas. Dance with me,” but he didn’t turn around to see.

He took his mother’s hand in his and put the other on her waist. They twirled around and around, and Philip was thrown back in time when they would do the same thing in front of the Christmas tree. The did it at every moment possible, but on the Christmas days that his mother was all there, that was one of Philip’s best memories. They never had enough money to buy Christmas ornaments, so they sat down and made their own from paper and ribbons, or anything else they could think of. Then, his mother would turn on the radio and they would dance until their feet hurt.

“You’re happy,” his mother pointed out, her smile wide.

“I am,” Philip agreed. It hadn’t been easy the road so far, but he was more than glad he stuck around, that he didn’t give up even when he wanted to.

His mother, Anne, looked down for a moment and Philip was suddenly concerned. But it seemed like she steeled herself for whatever came next, looked up at him and squared her shoulders. “I’m sorry for what I put you through when you were young,” she said.

Philip did not expect this, but he felt something squeeze inside him and he tried to stop her, to tell her she didn’t have to do this. “Mom…”

She shook her head gently at him, and the hand that had been resting on his shoulder, he felt it now caress his cheek. “No, let me do this,” she insisted. “Your father left me when you were still in my belly and I had no money. I had no one really. When you were born… you were the cutest thing in the world and I couldn’t believe that you were my son, that I deserved to have you. I couldn’t keep our house, our car… We had to move in a small apartment and I couldn’t find a job. And-and someone told me they wanted someone to sell things. I didn’t know what it was at first and I just… I’m sorry my addiction got the best of me. I’m sorry you had to be the grown up. No child should ever have to do what you did for me, for you to survive, and I’m sorry I made you go through that.”

They had stopped moving by that time and tears were filling Philip’s eyes. Not because of the trip down memory lane, not because of the visions that kept flashing in his head of everything he had done to stay alive and keep his mother alive as well, but because Anne was for once in her life telling him the whole truth. Because Philip never thought he’d need her to apologize for the way he grew up. But as he heard the words, relief filled him, forgiveness for his mother that he didn’t know he had been holding back on all this time, and clarity as it had always been a mystery to him why his mother had turned out the way she did, why she turned to drugs instead of family. Now he understood it was because she didn’t have any. It didn’t excuse her way of life then, but loneliness, pain, and desperation were things Philip understood. Philip couldn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. He felt a tear escape the corner of his eye and he felt it as his mother stopped its way down.

“I’m glad Helen took you in. I’m glad that they didn’t give up on you and that they helped you become the man you are today. God knows, this man in front of me wouldn’t be the same if all he had was me,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh and Philip couldn’t stand it.

“Mom, don’t...” he started to say, but his mother shushed him, saying it was the truth.

“I’m glad you found Lukas and that you’re happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you, even though I never really tried to give you the happiness you deserve.” Her eyes were filled with tears as well, and the sight pained him because he knew they were tears of regret, the tears that came when you failed someone close to you.

Philip couldn’t say that everything she said wasn’t true. But he could say one thing, “You tried, Mom.” And she had. Even though it wasn’t all the time, even though more times than not she was lost in a fictional world of pseudo ecstasy, Philip had some good memories. He had held onto those memories. They had been his blanket of comfort when his mother had forgotten to pay the bills again and the heater didn’t work. But none of that mattered now. His life had changed. His life was better now and he wasn’t alone anymore. He choked back the emotions that tried to overwhelm him, looked away for a moment, but then found his mother’s eyes again to say, “It doesn’t matter now, anyway. You’re here. You got out and you’re healthy. That’s all that matters.”

 

* * *

 

To say Lukas was nervous dancing with Helen was understatement. Sure, over all these years he had been with Philip, they all had gotten closer. After all, the Caldwells took him in when his father couldn’t accept the fact that Lukas was gay. They had cared for him and kept him safe even during the nights when the triple homicide was anything but a distant memory. They had done a lot for him and Lukas didn’t know how he could ever pay them back. Every time he tried, they said “You don’t have to. That’s what families do.” Lukas had never really been familiar with that concept until the Caldwells and Philip. Because Philip had been his family from the start. But Helen was looking at him with a calculating look that Philip usually looks at him with, as if he’s trying to figure him out all the time, but on Helen it made her seem… intimidating.

She smiled at him suddenly, as if she got the answer she had been looking for, and said, “You’re a good man, Lukas.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Lukas gulped, trying to keep his nervousness from showing.

Helen smiled at him again as she said, “No ma’am from you. My name is Helen.” She paused for a moment, and raised an eyebrow at him matching with the smirk on her lips, “Unless you’d like to call me Sheriff.”

Lukas shook his head immediately at that, “No, uh, Helen’s fine.”

She looked at him again with that calculating look of hers and Lukas had no idea what he was being examined for. “Are you happy, Lukas?”

Lukas didn’t even have to think of his answer. “Yeah, yeah, I am.” Being with Philip had been a struggle he never expected to go through, but an experience he wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. He knew the moment he gave up his sponsorship to keep Philip in Tivoli, the moment he realized he would do it again if he had to, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Philip. He knew, even then, that no one could complete him the way Philip did.

Helen looked at him knowingly and reminded him, “Treat him well, okay?”

It was not the first time Lukas heard that in all the years he had been with Philip. He never thought there had been no reason for that. Of course there had been. But now things are different. Lukas is different and he’d never hurt Philip on purpose. He’d never hurt Philip period. “I know that, at first, I wasn’t good to him. I was an asshole, actually. But I am not that person anymore. I never wanted to hurt him. I was scared. Philip helped me see that. I swear, I’m never going to hurt him again.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Somehow the words sounded reassuring. It sounded as if his silent apology had been accepted and it made Lukas feel at ease. It made his shoulders relax and helped him enjoy the dance with Helen. It settled something between them, as if Helen had been holding back all this time and now she trusted Lukas fully with Philip’s life. It made Lukas smile and twirl Helen around, comfortable in a way he had never been before.

 

* * *

 

Two songs later, the newlyweds were sitting at their table, drinking wine and talking with everyone that came to congratulate them again and again. They laughed and smiled all the time. It took a while before they had the table to themselves again. Gabe and Helen were sitting opposite them, but they too seemed in their own world. Anne was moving around talking to people, listening to everything they had to say with rapt attention. Things had just started to calm down at their table, when all of a sudden, Lukas sprung up from his seat, and with a “Wait here,” he went to find Rose.

Philip watched with narrowed eyes as Lukas whispered something to Rose that made her giggle and run to the DJ for some reason. He watched carefully as Lukas walked back to him with a grin on his face. He settled down on his seat next to Philip, and put his arm around his shoulders, the grin still obvious. “What was that?” Philip asked suspiciously.

Lukas smirked at him then, and said quite cryptically, “Just a little taste for what’s coming later tonight.”

Philip looked at him, squinting his eyes at him, trying to pinpoint when exactly later Lukas meant. Other than that smirk, Lukas gave no clue as to what he was talking about, and honestly that should have made it clear for Philip. He didn’t connect it at that moment. Instead he waited to listen to the song, bobbing his head to the beat, drinking wine here and there. They were listening to Demi Lovato. Philip loved her voice but he didn’t know this particular song. He was drinking some wine when he heard the chorus, something about touching with slow hands, making the other person sweat with dreamland as their final destination and Philip promptly choked. He coughed and felt Lukas pat him on the back hard. He turned to look at him and saw the blush that was covering Lukas’ cheeks, “Are you serious?!”

“I didn’t know that was the song she’d go with!” Lukas defended himself, his voice turning into an embarrassed squeak at the end. “That’s not what I asked for!”

“And what did you ask for exactly?”

“You know, a song about our first night married. Something about…” Lukas trailed off, trying to find the right word while still trying to maintain his right of ignorance but Philip finished his sentence for him. “…Sex.”

Lukas blushed even more at that, replying with a tame, “Yeah, basically,” avoiding Philip’s eyes.

Philip shook his head fondly at him, until a specific part of the song reached his ears. Demi was singing about what would happen if she had it her way and Philip couldn’t help but groan at the image those lyrics created with Lukas instead. Philip covered his face to hide his own blush. He couldn’t believe he was thinking about _that_ now of all times. “I hate you,” Philip said even though he could hear the lie clearly. “Everyone knows what we’ll be doing later,” Philip mumbled, looking around the barn for any suspicious or knowing glances. But nobody was looking. Rose and her friends were dancing on the dance floor, and Philip couldn’t help but chuckle when he saw Gabe and Helen doing the same thing.

Lukas turned to him shocked, but with a smile starting on his face, “Wait, they do?” Philip didn’t respond. Instead, he raised an eyebrow at him and let the song speak for itself. Lukas listened to the song carefully and moved closer to Philip, leaning in as if to kiss him, but he whispered first, “you’re gonna make me sweat, huh?”

He didn’t expect Philip to look at his mouth for a moment, before his gaze went back to his eyes. He didn’t expect him to lick his lips either, before he said, his voice low, “Don’t I always?”

Lukas blushed again, even though no one was listening in their conversation. “Shut up,” he said, shoving lightly Philip on the chest, trying to keep his eyes from wandering around. Philip could sense his worry and he laughed, because even after ever since Helen and Gabe heard them during a not so innocent situation, Lukas has always been vigilant about their presence during public moments like this, as if he was afraid they would pop out of nowhere and scold him for his sinful thoughts or something. Philip didn’t let Lukas’ head run away with his embarrassment. Instead he kissed him, just like Lukas always liked it and Lukas knew he was doing it on purpose. He didn’t mind though. Nobody was paying any attention to the couple, and even if they did, Lukas was busy getting kisses at the moment. They could stare for all he cared.

That was until he heard his own father clear his throat from right behind him. If he was still a teenager, he would have jumped as if his pants were on fire and would probably be standing on the other side of the barn by now. But this time, he didn’t jump. He didn’t freeze, or shut his eyes even harder willing for reality to go away. He simply leaned back, not liking that he abandoned Philip’s lips, but curious and confused at his father’s presence. On a side note, he was glad Demi’s song had ended. “Uh, Dad. Hi.”  Both Philip and Lukas stood up. Whatever was about to unfold in front of them, it felt better to stand on equal ground. He knew he was being awkward and nervous, but that’s how things were between them now. Bo had shown up at the wedding, apologized to Lukas about his absence and his hard head that didn’t let him see his son’s relationship for what it was. He said he wanted to try. He wanted to try and rebuild the bridge Bo had burned when he walked away. He wanted to do better. He wanted to be the father Lukas deserved to have. Maybe this was him trying.

“Lukas. Philip,” Bo nodded at each of them and an awkward silence settled between the three. Lukas had never seen his father act like this; he looked… nervous and it made Lukas’ mind run wild with scenarios as to why that could be. But before those could get farfetched, his father started speaking. “I know things have been fragile between us, Lukas, and I pushing you away did not help matters either. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around everything you told me all this time, but I can’t do it alone. I know you love Philip and I hope Philip loves you back with the same intensity, but I need you to help me understand, help me see you, both of you, for who you are. I want to be a part of your life again, Lukas. If you let me.”

Lukas was speechless, and so was Philip next to him. Sending the invitation to his father, it happened on a whim, while he held onto hope for one last moment, imagining his father looking proudly at him as he walked down the aisle and married the man he loved. He had known then, as he knew now, it had been a wild goose chase. He would always try to reach that vision, and it would never become reality. But now… now maybe that didn’t have to be true. He missed his father. He truly did. He knew they never really connected; after his mother died, his father seemed even more unapproachable than before. He got angry often, violent at times. But Lukas loved his father. Sometimes, he hated that he did. But he couldn’t change that. Staying with the Caldwells was his father’s idea to protect Lukas from his anger and close mindedness. His father was presenting an olive branch, though, and Lukas wanted to just grab it and never let go.

“Y-Yeah. I mean, yes. I want that.” Lukas tried to hold back, he really did. But his father was standing in front of him and he hadn’t seen him in months, and even then he hadn’t really said anything else other than “I’m good” as a response to his father’s “How are you?”. He didn’t want to miss another chance. It was as if his body moved on its own and Lukas was trying to catch up with his own brain as he hugged his father, trying to hold back the sob that suddenly overwhelmed him as his father whispered above him, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lukas.” He only showed his relief as he said back, “I’ve missed you.”

When he finally pulled back, he couldn’t stop smiling. He didn’t want to stop. He knew not everything was okay. He knew his father still didn’t fully accept him. But he was willing to try and that’s what mattered most to Lukas. Even if they failed in the end, his father still would have tried. He was surprised when his father turned to Philip, and offered his hand out for him to shake.

“Philip,” Bo said, his voice kinder than it had ever been directed at him.

Philip was wary, but he didn’t let his hesitation show. He just wanted Lukas to be happy and he knew how much Bo meant to him. So he shook Bo’s hand with a firm grip, and said, “He’s told me a lot about you, Mr. Waldenbeck.” It was the truth.

Bo almost smiled at that, as if he was relieved and satisfied that Lukas hadn’t forgotten him. “And I can’t wait to hear everything about you,” he replied as their handshake ended.

Lukas laughed at that, excited at the prospect of talking about Philip, “Oh, man. I have so much to tell you.”

His lips turned up at the corner, an instant reaction at seeing his son so happy, “After the honeymoon, come by the house, and I promise I’ll listen.” The Waldenbeck property was huge. Sometimes it was hard to believe that father and son were sharing the same land, but they were still so far away from each other.

“Really?” Lukas asked, his eyes ready to bug out of his head.

“Yes.” Bo looked at Philip then, and said, “You can come too, Philip.”

“Um,” Philip looked at Lukas’ excited expression, looking at his father as if it was the first time he was standing in front of him, but at the same time like he was somebody familiar, someone who he had been close to, but he lost. He knew Lukas wouldn’t mind him being there, but Lukas needed this time alone with his father. They needed to reconnect with each other and that was something they had to do on their own without Philip in the way. So Philip politely declined the invitation. “I really wouldn’t want to get in the middle of that, especially if it’s stories about me,” he elbowed Lukas for emphasis.

Lukas turned to him, looking incredulous, “Hey! It’s not my fault you’re crazy!” The whole expression was ruined by Lukas’ laughter.

Philip shrugged and smiled sweetly at Lukas, “Crazy about you, maybe.”

Lukas smiled back, putting his arm around Philip’s shoulder and bringing him closer. He looked in his eyes as he said sarcastically and not at all, “You say the sweetest things.”

“I know,” Philip replied, rubbing his nose against Lukas’, a move that always made the other man giggle like a baby and this time was no exception.

“I’m glad to see you happy, Lukas,” Bo’s voice pulled them out of their own little world.

Philip was grateful Bo was here, talking to them, talking to Lukas. He had watched all these years how Bo’s absence had affected Lukas, how day by day the other man lost hope. How after every meeting with his father every few months he came back home even more depressed than the last one. They said hope died last, and Philip hated how painful that process was. He hated that Lukas had gone through it. He’d hate it even more if Lukas’ father was giving him false hope only to take it all back in the end, but that was not for him to decide. All he could promise was that whatever the outcome, he would be here for Lukas, standing right next to him. And as he saw Lukas beam up at his father and say “Thanks, Dad” obvious how he meant it more than any other time he had spoken those words to him, Philip knew that even if their attempt failed, Lukas would be content because Bo was here at his son’s wedding which he didn’t fully approve of.

Just like that, everything looked better already.

 

* * *

 

Philip laughed as he bounced on their bed, his tie already at the other side of the room having joined his jacket, waiting for Lukas to climb in after him. “Did we seriously just snuck out of our own wedding party?”

Lukas laughed too, struggling to take his damn shirt off. “It’s not our fault they wouldn’t leave! I danced for a lifetime. Now I want you all to myself.” He planned on worshipping Philip tonight and he didn’t want to pause for anything as he did so.

Philip checked his husband out from head to toe, as his hands moved to the belt. Even though he knew exactly what Lukas looked like with no clothes on, it still got him nervous and excited just like the first time. He couldn’t help but tease Lukas a bit, raising an eyebrow at him followed by the words, “Only for now?”

“Forever, to be honest,” Lukas answered readily with no hesitation, as he jumped up and down trying to get his socks off. In his defense, Philip laid out on the bed like that, looking at him as if his mind was already ways ahead into the night was a very distracting sight. He didn’t fight with the other sock, just left it on his foot and crawled up the bed. It would probably get off of him in the process later, so he didn’t really mind. Either way, his husband was waiting for him with a smile on his face.

“Forever sounds good.” Philip watched as Lukas took his time crawling up to him. Once he reached him, Lukas’ face inches away from his, it struck him how softly Lukas was staring at him, like Philip was the most fragile thing but was still amazed by its enormous strength. It was a feeling Philip was too familiar with. But then the playfulness took over and Philip felt Lukas burying his head in the crook of Philip’s shoulder, sighing dramatically, “I can’t believe I’m going to be stuck forever with my husband. What do I do?”

Philip laughed, his hand immediately on Lukas’ hair, his fingers playing with the loose strands, his palm keeping Lukas’ head there with no force applied. The words sank in, and Philip tried to hide his smile in Lukas’ hair, even though he was fully aware they were alone and the other man couldn’t see him from where he was. “It does have a nice ring to it, though,” Philip admitted quietly.

Lukas brought his head up, looked at Philip confused and asked, “What does?”

Philip bit his lip, like he always did when he was embarrassed or hesitant about something. But Lukas never judged him, no matter what came out of his mouth, and really, there was no reason to judge what came out next, “Husband.”

Lukas smiled blindingly at him, “Yeah. Yeah, it does.” He leaned down to whisper to Philip, giving him an eskimo-kiss as he admitted, “In fact, I think it’s the best thing I have ever heard.”

Philip smirked at him then, his eyes glowing with mischief that was full of promises, “Oh, really?”

“Yes,” Lukas agreed. He leaned further down, his lips touching Philip’s, but he didn’t fully connect them yet. He wouldn’t until he heard what he wanted to hear. “Say it again. Please.”

Philip rolled his eyes at Lukas, but still complied by his request. “Husband,” he said, leaning up to kiss him, but Lukas evaded his move.

Lukas had one more thing to say before he gave in completely, “I love you, so freaking much.”

Lukas didn’t let him say it back. He knew Philip loved him back. He knew it in his heart, in his bones, in his mind. Instead he tried to occupy his husband in another way, talking being the furthest thing from their minds.

 

* * *

 

They had been married for a year when Philip had walked in their house only for it to seem empty. He frowned as he laid his duffel bag by his feet. He had had to travel for a photoshoot and he had been gone for five days. So, needless to say he had been expecting an excited Lukas already in his arms by now. “Babe, I’m home!” he called out but he got no response. He walked further inside and looked around the living room and the dining room. He walked to their den next, where he knew Lukas liked to snuggle in when he got particularly emotional. But he wasn’t there either. Philip was worried. His dirt bike was out front, so was their car, so Lukas must be somewhere around here. “Lukas?” he called out again. This time a small voice replied “In here.” The sound seemed to be coming from the kitchen. Philip immediately went there, his mind going to ten places at once as to why Lukas sounded so… fearful. Wary. He found him sitting behind the kitchen counter, his back to Philip, hunched over something Philip couldn’t see from here.

“What’s wrong?” Philip frowned when Lukas didn’t respond. He moved to the other side of the counter, his hands already touching Lukas’ cheeks, to make him look at him without actually forcing him, before his line of sight followed Lukas’. He pulled away like he’d been burned and tried not to choke by the fear that overwhelmed him. “Uh, I can explain,” he tried to say, his palms already sweaty, his heart trying to beat out of his chest. He didn’t dare look at Lukas, afraid of the rejection and disappointment he might find there. Instead, he sighed, trying to defend what Lukas had found, “Look, I…” But then he heard a small sniff and that made him stop in his tracks. He looked up, and saw Lukas trying to hide his face, but he didn’t catch the stray tear that fell on the countertop. Philip stepped next to him then, moving Lukas so that he was facing him and Philip could move between his thighs. “Wait. Are you crying?” Lukas still refused to look at him and Philip was scared. He was terrified he had pushed Lukas away by looking into something he simply wasn’t ready for. It was just that they had been in a relationship for five years now and Philip started thinking about their future. He looked into it and as he lost himself in his research with Helen, he felt ready. It just felt right, starting a family with Lukas. He wanted to adopt a baby or child that had no home anymore, or use a surrogate and take care of a little Lukas that would bury his face in his arm. But he didn’t want to do it alone. He wanted to live that life with Lukas. But if Lukas didn’t want that, then Philip wouldn’t pressure him into it. He loved him too much to do that. Lukas was all the family he needed in his life.

He moved in closer, cradled Lukas’ head in his hands, and whispered, kissing him anywhere he could reach, “Babe, it’s okay. We don’t have to. I wasn’t going to say anything anyway, not yet at least. It’s okay. You are-” Philip didn’t get to tell him how he was enough for him, how Lukas was the only person he needed in his life, the one he couldn’t live without, because Lukas was kissing him. Tears were still falling down but he was kissing Philip passionately, like Philip was about to slip away from between his fingers and Lukas was trying to anchor him here with just one kiss. It took his breath away, just like it did every other time Lukas kissed him like that.

When Lukas broke the kiss, their foreheads touched for a moment, both trying to breathe right again. And when Lukas leaned back, he was smiling. He looked happy. He looked… whole.

Philip blinked. This reaction was so far from what it was before, or what he thinks it was before, it was giving him a whiplash. He was confused. “Okay, I don’t know what that meant.”

Lukas gulped and looked at Philip’s lips for a moment before his attention returned to his eyes. “I want- I want to have a family with you. I want a little boy or girl with your eyes,” he smiled fondly at Philip, like that image was already forming in his head, “running around and keeping us up at night because they want us to read more stories before bedtime. And maybe one day we can foster kids too, give them the home they’re missing.” He took a big breath next, and wrapped his arms around Philip, leaning his forehead against the other man’s, looking at those brown orbs from as close as he dared to without getting cross-eyed. “I-I want this. With you.”

Philip felt giddy all of sudden. He felt his lips form a smile without his permission. He felt his heart flutter in his chest at the thought of what the future held for them. He could dream big now. He wanted to dream big with Lukas. And Lukas wanted that with him. He wanted a family with Philip. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Philip never thought he’d get to have the perfect life. Until he met Lukas, and that man tried every single day to give it to him, even though somewhere along the way Philip realized that his life felt perfect because Lukas was in it. It didn’t matter to Lukas regardless of how many times Philip reminded him so. He still tried his best to give his husband and family everything they deserved and he swore he would never stop.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So... this is it, for now. What did you think? Is there anything else you'd like to see with these two? I'm still not used to writing fluff, but I like how this turned out. Do you? Be honest!
> 
> Here is [my tumblr](http://puddingwillbeouralways.tumblr.com/) and here's [my first ever photoset for Philkas](http://puddingwillbeouralways.tumblr.com/post/154000845204/oh-our-lives-dont-collide-im-aware-of-this-the) based on the song Only Fools by Troye Sivan if you want to check it out!
> 
> I hope you liked it. Read, comment or leave kudos if you did!  
> -RC


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